Eighteen Facts about Me

 
  1. I was the first in my class to wear glasses, in fourth grade. Like all such children, I now wear contact lenses.
  2. I have a well-attested high run of 81 balls at straight pool and have run over 50 many times.
  3. In 1993 I won a national fantasy league baseball contest. The prize was an all-expenses-paid trip to spring training, including attending a game with Bill James, who couldn’t stand me.
  4. I get spontaneous nosebleeds periodically, every couple months or so, and have since I was a child.
  5. I am bigoted against fat people. I’ve had one fat friend in my life, in third grade, and he was whiny, shiny, wheezy, sneezy, and, well, fat.
  6. I don’t write for a living but most of my good friends do.
  7. I can’t drive a car.
  8. In college I once forged a check to buy liquor, not because I was interested in the liquor, although I drank it, but to see if I could get away with forgery, which I did.
  9. Nearly everything I know about poetry, which is a fair amount, I learned from reading Yvor Winters.
  10. When people used to ask me, as a child, what I wanted to be when I grew up, I said, “paleontologist.” At about twelve I realized this required a lot of graduate school so I switched to “premier intellectual of the Western World.”
  11. I once took a year off of work and spent it mostly reading Russian novels and reediting Emily Dickinson’s poems (the standard versions are lousy).
  12. I know Geddy Lee and Neil Peart of the legendary Canadian power trio Rush.
  13. In the more than twenty years I’ve lived in Manhattan I have never been mugged. I lived in Brooklyn for two years and was mugged three times.
  14. I can type 100 words a minute.
  15. I was once punched in the face, deservedly, by a colleague at work. So was my brother; it must run in the family.
  16. As a teenager I liked to swig vinegar straight from the bottle.
  17. I have never seen, and never intend to see, Star Wars or E.T.
  18. That’s enough.

  5 Responses to “Eighteen Facts about Me”

  1. Enough is enough, and more so even more.

  2. editing Emily must be like paring close cut nails?

  3. I still don’t drive either, at 41, but I think in both our cases it’s less a function of some underlying “issue” and more a simple function of living in a real city.

  4. “I hate quotations. Tell what you think.” Emerson … Shakespeare. Wilde? Aaron Haspel? Last night’s Uber driver? That girl at the bar, back in college? Me, three minutes ago?

    Actually, I love “Everything” and have bought several copies for my friends (both of them). Keep up the good work.

  5. Thanks, I’ll try. Meanwhile, get more friends.

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